First, I would like to say how great it feels to be back in my computer chair after months of hospital stays and bed rest. It has been a very trying time for my family and I but it has also been an enlightening one.
If you noticed, my last post was on May 28th where I boasted about finally being home after going in and out of the hospital for over a month. What you may not have known, unless you follow me on social media, is that not too long after that post I was back in the hospital having another kidney surgery. That surgery had me “under” for over 6 hours which caused major problems to my right lung and I resided in the ICU for a time. Once released, I was bound to bed rest for a bit over a month.
Thankfully, I am now cleared to work again which makes me completely ecstatic. Anyone who has had to deal with bed rest knows it is not a fun situation and the longer you are on it, the more likely you may feel like you’re going crazy.
As lifeless and uncreative as I felt throughout my time within my bedroom walls, I learned many things as well as put a lot into perspective. There were numerous lessons and they wouldn’t all fit into one post. However, if you follow me on Twitter, you can check them out at #ThingsIveLearned. Right now, however, I would like to share with you the top 3 things I’ve learned while on bed rest.
- THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH TAKING TIME OFF:
One of the things that irritated me the most about being cooped up in one room was not doing anything productive. All I could do was watch television and movies, or play games on my phone. I also slept like a hibernating bear many days.
As time progressed I began to realize that this, even though forced, was the break I needed. It gave me an opportunity to take the pressure from myself as to why I wasn’t as successful as I had hoped I would be at this point. The keyboard’s silence allowed me to understand that there were more important things than work. Also, taking time off also gave me the strength to let myself off the hook for all my past mistakes I’ve made in my writing career that I had carried with me daily.
In the beginning I felt like I was being lazy but towards the end it became very clear that this is what I needed to move forward in a more positive light. To be honest, it felt really good to do nothing and I was thankful for the rest.
- EVERYONE MAKES MISTAKES AND MISSTEPS:
Many days, as I lay silently in my room, past mistakes would haunt my thoughts. The What Ifs and If I Had Ofs would swirl around my head like gnats. No matter how often I tried to shoo them away they would come back in an ever so mocking way.
At first, I would mentally beat myself up, chastising myself for things that I could no longer change and had no control over. Certain days I would try to force myself to create anything; a poem, a story, a blog post. I figured if I could write something I wouldn’t feel so bad about all the things I hadn’t done or the things I had messed up on.
Eventually, due to the constant positive advice and support of fans and friends, I allowed myself to relax. There was no rule that said I had to be perfect throughout my career. In fact, making mistakes and missteps is the way we learn and grow within ourselves as well as within our careers. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with it and I am now open to making more mistakes so that I may learn the lessons that follow.
- I’VE BEEN IN MY OWN WAY THE ENTIRE TIME
Five years ago I decided that I wanted to make writing my career path regardless that my entire work history up to that point had been in finance and customer relations. My passion and desire had always been to write from a very early age. It was my childhood dream to see my name upon books and articles. However, as much as I wanted to be a writer so bad I could taste it, I also realized I wasn’t putting forth the effort to become great.
As I sat in my room with my thoughts, the amount of work that could have been done flashed in front of me. The lack of visible production had nothing to do with a lack of ideas but it was the fear of judgment on if I could execute them in the correct way. Certain days I would browse social media just to notice that there are so many writers out there doing so much more than I had done up to this point and they had done it for less time. For these reasons I had decided to give up on writing and go back to finance/customer relations once I was off bed rest.
Ironically, the last couple days of being confined to my room I received an incredible jolt of inspiration. It started off as a few fleeting thoughts followed by an unexplainable urge. By the time bed rest was over I couldn’t stop thinking about writing. In all my years, the desire had never been so strong and evident. The feeling hasn’t stopped and it is, if I do say so myself, amazing. My negativity and need to size myself up with other writers’ success are what have held me back all this time; feeling that I was incapable of becoming what I’ve always wanted to be – a great, prolific writer.
These 3 things I’ve learned are the cornerstones of what is going to catapult me to the next level. By allowing myself to have time off, forgive past mistakes, and get out of my own way I will become all that I have ever wanted to be in a career that I love dearly. The only thing now is to carry out what I’ve learned in my daily routine and to never give in to my self sabotage.
What have you learned today?
Until next time.