Hey there, beautiful ones! Today, we’re going to talk about closure—what it is, why we need it, and why sometimes the best way to get it is by saying… nothing. Yep, you heard me right. It’s not about avoiding conflict or being passive-aggressive. It’s about knowing when to close the door, throw away the key, and move on with your fabulous life.
When Closure Requires a Hard Stop
Let’s dive right in with a story. I found myself at a point where I needed to close the door on my previous marriage for good. It was a messy situation, full of emotional landmines. I thought the best way to move on was to sit down and have a heart-to-heart. You know, let it all out and then walk away with that final mic drop. But guess what? It didn’t go that way. The person on the other end wasn’t open to listening. It was like talking to a brick wall that occasionally made snarky comments. So instead of laying out my 10-point PowerPoint presentation on “Why You Hurt Me and What You Can Do About It,” I realized that my closure had to come from within.
I calmly told him that this was the end of the line. No more phone calls, no more text messages, and definitely no more surprise pop-ups at my house (like, seriously, don’t show up uninvited—it’s just creepy). I didn’t need to explain myself further. He didn’t need to hear about my emotional scars, and I didn’t need the frustration of trying to make him understand. I said my piece, walked away, and let the door close behind me.
When Less Is More
Now, I know what you’re thinking. “But Trina, don’t I need to express my feelings to get closure?” Sure, expressing your feelings can be therapeutic, but only if the other person is willing to listen. If they’re not, it’s like shouting into a void—it feels good in the moment, but it doesn’t change anything. Instead, sometimes the best way to get closure is to quietly close the door and move on. Less drama, more peace.
And here’s the thing: you don’t need someone else’s permission to heal. You don’t need them to acknowledge your pain for it to be valid. If they’re not receptive, don’t force it. You can take control of your own story. You can write the next chapter without having to read them the riot act. (Although, let’s be real, it would be fun to dress them down in front of an audience.)
How to Find Closure Without All the Drama
So, how do you find closure when the other person isn’t cooperating? Here’s my advice:
- Write It Out: If you can’t say what you need to say to the person, write it down. Pour all your feelings into a journal or a letter (which you don’t have to send). It’s cathartic, and it doesn’t involve any awkward silences.
- Talk It Out: Find a trusted friend or therapist to talk to. Sometimes saying things out loud helps you process and gain clarity.
- Set Boundaries: Make it clear what you will and won’t tolerate. If that means cutting off all contact, then so be it. Your peace of mind is worth it.
- Focus on You: Shift your energy to things that make you happy. Take up a new hobby, hit the gym, or plan a weekend getaway. The world is your oyster, my friend.
Remember, you are a strong, resilient, amazing person. Closure isn’t about winning or losing. It’s about finding peace and moving forward. So, if you’re dealing with a situation where the other person isn’t giving you the clarity you crave, don’t fret. You’ve got this. And just in case no one else has told you today, I believe in you. Now go out there and live your best life. You’ve got a bright future ahead! And remember, as always, I love you! 💙
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