Hey there, beautiful ones! If you’ve been around for a while, you know I pride myself on being transparent to assist you on your journey. Today, I’m inviting you into the swirling vortex of emotions that has been my reality lately. Buckle up, because it’s been quite the ride.
As of late, I and much of the collective are being faced with things that we must let go of, which include sadness, anger, pain, frustration, etc. Over the past several weeks, I have been faced with moments in time that ignited tears. However, today, I woke up enraged.
The Unruly Guest: Anger
While I understand that these feelings that are coming up are meant for me to deal with so that I can let them go to make space for the new things coming into my life, it doesn’t make it any easier. In fact, it is a bit difficult, especially when nothing can be done outside of understanding the emotions and letting them fall to the wayside.
The sadness I’ve felt as of late, I have been able to release, and it felt amazing. However, this anger that I feel is lingering. All of this has been tiring me out, and it has shown in me not being able to really function because I keep needing rest every time I let something go.
Embracing the Unruly Emotion
This anger, though. If I’m being honest, I’ve had a massive temper throughout my life for many reasons, but mostly because my anger shields me from my sadness. It’s been a defense mechanism for as long as I can remember. Throughout my healing process, I began to understand my anger and why it has existed.
With this awareness, I have been able to free myself from the fire of rage I’ve always felt and allowed myself to tap into the sadness I desperately tried to avoid all these years. But today, all I feel is anger, and I must say I need a break from all this. I don’t like being angry anymore. I like to process my emotions more productively, and knowing my anger hides my sadness, I sit and wonder what sadness is this rage defending.
The reason I don’t like my anger is that I know the destruction my anger has caused over the years, and I was sure I had settled that score. Yet, here I am, mad as hell and ready to set the world on fire. I am honestly pissed off, but I cannot tell you exactly why. The only thing I know is that this is yet another emotion I need to acknowledge and let go.
I tell you all of this because there may come a time when you are faced with an emotion you would much rather not deal with. However, you must even though you may not want to because that’s the only way to release what has had you tethered. So, as much as I may need a break from all this, I know it’s something I must go through to become a higher version of myself. And you must go through it as well.
I believe in you. And remember, as always, I love you! 💙
In the end, emotions are the colors that paint the canvas of our lives. Sometimes they’re bright and beautiful, and other times they’re dark and stormy. But it’s through embracing them all that we truly experience the full spectrum of what it means to be human. So, here’s to riding the waves, even when they threaten to capsize us. Until next time, stay beautiful and keep shining!
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