Hey there, beautiful ones. I want to be completely honest with you about something. I’ve mentioned isolation and honoring boundaries before, but I don’t think I’ve truly explained the extent of it. Right now, I am in full isolation. This means I spend most of my time alone. This is a choice I’ve had to make. The only interactions I have are those that benefit my greatest good, including business and physical fitness. Outside of that, I choose to stay in the shadows. Of course, I write a blog each day, but I don’t see it as an interaction as much as a tool of guidance for my lovely, beautiful ones.
The Power of Solitude
The point of choosing total isolation is that I’ve never done so without an illogical reason or it was involuntary. In this time and place, I wish to be alone. Over the past year and a half, I’ve grown a lot. I’ve learned many lessons and continue to grow each day. However, there are old habits and limiting beliefs that still linger within me. These cause conflict with my more evolved self. I find myself torn in certain decisions and confused in others.
While I desire human connection, I also require the ultimate amount of self-love. I yearn for an intimate connection with one special person, but not in the physical sense. However, I know I am not ready for such a connection. I understand that I am a powerful being, and because of this understanding, I know I cannot allow these old habits and limiting beliefs to be an issue. Therefore, the best way to deal with them is in total isolation.
Facing the Fear of Loneliness
One of my biggest fears throughout my life has been the fear of being alone and lonely. I used to think having more friends would cure this fear. The reality is the only thing that will cure this fear is if I choose to remain alone for the foreseeable future. There is honestly no other way to rid myself of this sizable fear inside of me.
This is also another way to battle another beast that has lurked around my life for a very long time. I have always been everything to everyone. It’s what people expect from me. Growing up, in my effort to seek favor from others, I did whatever I could to try to please them. It never worked though. All people ever did was use this to their advantage, knowing I was too afraid or too ashamed to say no.
My mere presence makes people think they can assume I’m going to do for them because it is what I’ve always done. Even though I explain these days that I don’t have time for everyone else’s shenanigans, it doesn’t matter. People still pile on top of me because they know I’m strong enough to carry the weight. This is another reason why I have chosen total isolation, so I cannot be used anymore and can focus on myself.
Choosing What’s Best for You
This is a big decision for me and one that was difficult to make because of the love I have for those in my life. However, if those around me truly love me, they will understand. Beautiful ones, the lesson in this is to do what’s best for you. You can’t always be what others want. You must decide what is the thing you truly need in life and do whatever you can to make it happen, even if it means disappearing for a while.
I believe in you. And remember, as always, I love you. 💙
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